It’s Valentine’s Day and for travel nurses in love it may be a bitter sweet day. Being away from your spouse or significant other during an assignment can cause some of the romance to dwindle, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
I recently had a chance to interview Relationship Coach Michael Fiore, the creator of the site Text Back The Romance, where he urges “clients to use the powerful immediacy of heartfelt text messages to become love letters 2.0.“
Fiore and I discussed how his texting techniques for keeping and growing the romance in your relationship are a great way for travel nurses to keep that spark in their relationships.
The program is one that he developed while dating his girlfriend, but soon found that the techniques he developed also work well for couples that are married or in a long term relationship to reignite romance in their lives.
If you are rolling your eyes right now, don’t. We are discussing being romantic, not sexting, sending photos or trying to set up a quick rendezvous. Fiore is talking about using one of the most ubiquitous and instantaneous modes of communication around to show your spouse or significant other that you love them and to build an existing relationship.
For travel nurses, who may be away from loved ones for long periods of time Fiore says the goal is to not only use texting as a way to build more romance into your relationship, but also to include your spouse or significant other in your daily life as much as possible. A good plan of action that travel nurses could follow laid out by Fiore would be something along these lines:
- After you see them remind them of the time you spent together
- During time away use texting to make them part of your daily life and let them know you are thinking of them
- As you get closer to seeing them again use texting to build anticipation
According to Fiore it doesn’t matter what stage of the relationship you are in. He has seen the techniques he teaches work for everyone from a nineteen year old in their first serious relationship to 60 year old couples who have been married for forty years. What is important he says, is that being in love in many ways is a choice and people should find every way they can to communicate that love with each other.
Fiore also says that both men and women take to the techniques differently. Women, he said, tend to want to be romanced and are not as interested in doing the romancing, while men are not used to sharing their emotions so doing so is a hurdle. However, he says that after he guides them through the first couple of texts and they see the results both men and women get over any apprehension pretty quickly.
He also notes that the techniques he teaches don’t just have to be limited to texting, although because of its immediacy as a communication tool he does prefer it. He has seen people apply his techniques to everything from emails, to notes around the house, to good old fashioned love letters.
If you are thinking this may be something you are interested in learning more about but are hesitant, don’t worry you are not alone. Fiore has seen a lot of people with some common apprehensions and/or excuses, such as no time, worried their significant other will question their motives or embarrassed about being sappy. But he has helped most of them get over it, by urging them to just give it a try, guiding them through the process and reminding them that they should never be embarrassed about communicating how much they love their spouse or significant other.
The times where he has seen it not work to spark romance in a relationship are usually when the relationship is already in a really bad state and needs more serious work than a romantic spark.
One final key he notes is that these methods are meant to be used within a relationship, not to facilitate cheating or an affair. The ultimate goal he says is to find any way you can to maintain connection with your loved one.
Here are just a few of his tips:
Sent from Women to Men:
It’s much more than “I love you.” It’s I’m thinking about you right now.
1: Your Man’s Cell Phone is the closest thing to “Telepathy” that you can get.
Rather than trying to force him to pay attention to you and “put the phone down;” texting him let’s you do a little bit of “relationship judo” and get him to do what you really want him to do without ever coming across as nagging or unreasonable at all.
2: Guys Respond to visual stimuli. Guys are not always as emotionally complex as women and are a lot more blunt in their communication. If you want your guy to give you the romance and attention you crave, you’ve got to speak his language first. That means using visual language in our texts.
3: Romantically, men need to feel like they are able to win you over all over again. The thrill of the flirt, the chase and feeling like he’s “still got it.” The “it” being the ability to capture your full attention. You stopped what you were doing to send him a note that addressed his interest to be your one and only focus of attention. It isn’t about control. It’s about feeling special and singular in your busy life.
Sent from Men to Women:
1: Your woman’s cell phone is a “magic portal” to her deepest, most intimate mind. Women are already used to sharing their most intimate and private thoughts on the phone, through text and (less and less) through phone calls.
2: A woman is passionate at every age. The vast majority of women see their passions increase as they get into their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.
3: Women respond to verbal, descriptive and emotional stimuli. Women are hard wired to respond to more cerebral material.